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"a happy death"

by charlie shuck

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1.
i was having such a good dream why'd you have to go and wake me. i was dreaming that my life was just how i want it to be. *** "Question//Marks" who knew you did we see could you tell judge how bout it goin' up what ever is that it how come did you see could we tell hope panic now why oh *** although superficial fragments leave you and something inside burns, you remain. you have laid down here before. sorry, i could do no more. *** "circulation" bordering on love and loneliness, my heart, a cluster of unmotivated connections and clogged arteries, yearns. no comfort. no assurance. "one more beer should do it." loneliness begets loneliness, and my gut is twisting, and confused. empty. hollow. hallowed be my love? and squandered, and wasted. completely in vain? i cried today, but not for you. man the borders! *** "Time Changes" Time flies Time gives and takes away, love. But be not doleful. A fellowship, broken, Time may still heal. The fire, yet, may burn again. Time changes minds and hearts, makes fools of us, love. But be not doleful. *** "Transitions" moment's fleeting. two more, please? or however many you can spare. your faces flash before me. both of them, love. why do you hide? is your past too harsh to bare? who are you, stranger? i know your name. -i like the misfit on your chest. --i made it myself. ---do you have another cigarette? -only when i'm at my best. the overlapping images do not match. both show kindness. one shows hope. one is weary of me.
2.
"Color Myself, a Mixture" Coming from the ocean with salt inside my hands. Common misperceptions where the water meets the land. The sharks teeth are avoiding the old and searching man. His feet, they are sinking in the sand on which he stands. Bothered by the sorrows of his years. Buried in the salt of his tears, preserving. Coloring my world with pastels and bold markers, black. Collecting remnants on my fingertips; and wiping sweat from my brow, I color myself, a mixture. A bold line smeared to fading beauty. *** "My (Hallucinogenic) Ideal" proven to be ineffective. indulgent. (fixations on perfection of formation-- a collection of atoms) delusional obstructions (exquisite, bluffing sand traps) obscure my composure until i can not keep it. *** hello? is it you who dabbles in mysticism and dreams with deeply shaded backdrops? your frequency makes me nauseous. hello? is it you who is changing the scene? that scares me? hello... is it you who presents faces false clouds and deranged ornaments? where are you from? some other place?
3.
"misremembered" i didn't want to dim the lights, say anything at all nor blink and chance missing a sight. my honesty was taken from me. my throat spoke of misguided flashes. i fell asleep at some point but did not dream. *** "Mournings" come here -- your hands are dry, and your legs are sore and red -- near me. mornings lost to rain are revived in your glance and your brutal kisses. mockingly overwhelmed; you never knew me. i wanted to know why. *** "a Pop Song (without your name)" i kept my heart in my chest it needed a rest. it was a very comfy place to hide until you found your way inside. but we don't even get along that well and we don't talk 'til our tongues swell *** "Daydream" - I wish that I could fall asleep. -- But, then what would make your life worth livin’? - No need for an alibi. No promises to keep. -- Well, how ‘bout a smoke? a bottle of gin?
4.
"Time Changes" Time flies Time gives and takes away, love. But be not doleful. A fellowship, broken, Time may still heal. The fire, yet, may burn again. Time changes minds and hearts, makes fools of us, love. But be not doleful.

about

a game of chess with death, at the end of love

***

the story follows a man at the end of his life, leaving behind his lover, and lingering on memories of her, until finally he dies...

listen, if you will.

credits

released October 19, 2013

all songs and poems written, performed and produced by charlie shuck
2013
album art by Andre G. Gruber

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all rights reserved

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about

charlie shuck Jacksonville, Florida

a poet and songwriter from jacksonville, florida.


listen with your eyes
shut or looking at the stars.

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